Saturday, September 20, 2014

"HEY, CAN I BORROW YOUR KID?" - God

My husband and I were high school sweethearts.  Our lives revolved around God... and our churches.  My dad was a pastor, but when we got married, we went to my husband's church.  I loved our pastor.. Still consider him our "Pastor".  I remember one Sunday morning he announced the topic for his message that Sunday night (Yes.. Virginia... there used to be church on Sunday nights too)...

He said, "Tonight, I am going to tell you the reason you were created.  Tonight we will study what God's Word tells us about the reason God allowed you to have life."   I waited all day Sunday to get back to church that night.. I was SO CURIOUS to learn.. SO EAGER to understand the WHY behind my life on earth.And.... his answer was.....I was created to bring glory to God.  I was created for HIS GLORY.. and not my own.

I cannot do justice to the way that one sermon has shaped my life.  Who knew?  I understood, as the pastor spoke, that it's not about me.. it's about GOD. A "light" went on in my heart.  "Ohhhhhhh... My life here is all about God. His Glory. His Honor. His Will. His Desires. His Majesty. His Glory." 

I thought back to my Godly parents.. and through my many decades of life.. (they are still alive.. and in their 90's)... and how the way they raised me went right along with our pastor's message...
"BRING GLORY TO GOD... HONOR GOD.. LOVE GOD.. SERVE GOD.. HIS PEOPLE... It's all about God."

Sometimes.. we conveniently "forget"  that our kids belong to God.. and that He is wanting us to tell them about HIM.. and that HE is their FOREVER Father.

God shouldn't be just a part of their lives.
He should be their whole life.

It shouldn't be a lifestyle where God has to say to parents, 
  • "Hey, can I borrow your kid? 
  •  I have a plan for his life that's a better one than the one you have.....and I need you to let him go. 
  • I have a plan for her life that will allow her to be happy being exactly the way I created her in your womb. She won't be happy doing anything but what I created her to do.  
  • He won't be fulfilled in any venture but the ones I prepared for him as I was forming him."

It should be a parent letting a child know that whatever profession, occupation, or path he chooses... he should do it all for the glory of God. It should be us teaching our kids that honoring God's will - even above what society defines as success - should be the main point of being alive. 
Shouldn't it?
Just because it isn't easy to let go of our kids.. doesn't mean it isn't right.
They. Belong. To. God.

XO,
Mrs. Older
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Friday, September 12, 2014

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Look... I'm no marriage expert.  I'm just someone who has learned some things about being married.. and someone who is trying my best to do what God wants me to do in my marriage.. and IN MY LIFE.    I wish I could say I've always done exactly what God wants me to do... but.. that would be a lie.  I have tried, and failed, and tried again, and failed again, and tried, and keep trying.  It's been 45 years now, and when we finally achieve the perfect marriage, I'll let you know. OK? OK.  (Don't hold your breath.)
One of the main tricks of the trade of the Enemy of Humanity is to ask us all, in one way or another, "Who do you think you are?"   The Bible refers to Satan as "the Accuser" ... and.... sure enough... whenever he wants to discourage a child of God....he will whisper... in our hearts.. or through someone else, "Who do you think you are?"  That question...spoken with just the right attitude... or that attitude with unspoken words... can make many of us stop dead in our tracks.  Keep us from doing the work of the Lord.  Keep us from reaching out to others. Keep us from following the path He has ordained.  satan gets us to believe we are less than what God's Word tells us and what God's Spirit reminds us we are in God's sight.
This Enemy whispers to us....
"Who do you think you are to think that God cares about you and your husband?"
"Who do you think you are to think when you pray He will hear you?" 
"Who do you think you are to believe that God can heal and restore what you and your mistakes have destroyed?"
"Who do you think you are to ask Him to help you, when you are such a poor excuse of a human being?" 
"Who do you think you are to approach a Holy God with all your sin?"
And he sows doubt in our hearts.. just like he did to Eve in the Garden of Eden.  He twisted the truth of God and created a mean, vindictive God in the place of a caring and giving God.  The truth is, God is LONGING to heal, LONGING to forgive, LONGING to undo what your mistakes have caused. The only thing required is a humble heart, that admits we have messed up and cannot undo our mistakes WITHOUT GOD'S HELP.  God helps those who admit they cannot help themselves.  Who do you think you are?  You are someone worth dying for, according to Jesus.  You are the brokenhearted One He came to heal, You are the one in chains He came to set free. 
That same question, placed in the heart of a broken person by satan, is the core of the division between us and God.  It isn't that we don't know we are failures and sinners. It's that we doubt that God loves us enough to want to heal us.  To forgive us.  "Who do you think you are?" he whispers.
"Someone worth dying for, according to Jesus" is what our response must be. Why? Because it's the truth.
He uses that question to cause division between God and us... And between us and others.  Between us and our husbands.  AT the root of all division is the unspoken question:
"Who do you think you are......
  • to make me feel the way you are making me feel?"
  • to treat me the way you are treating me?
  • to ignore me the way you're ignoring me?
  • to want all the attention all of the time?
  • to betray me?
  • to not do what I want you to do when I want you to do it?
That's not the wrong question. It's that we have to ask it to the right person. God's Word shows us that we should be asking OURSELVES that question.  

"Who do you think YOU are....
  • to not forgive others when God has forgiven you?
  • to hold a grudge against your husband (and others) when God holds no grudges against him or them?
  • to see the speck in someone's eye, when Jesus says you have a log of it in your own eye?   
  • to think you can see someone else's heart and motives and then speak judgment against them?
Who do you think you are?  
Well, I don't know you, but in my own human and weak way, I am learning to know God. And from what I know about God....
  • You are someone whose mistakes and failures do not keep a merciful God from answering your prayer for help.
  •  You are someone who will never understand why some things have happened, but God wants to undo the bad with His goodness... if you will let Him.
  • You are someone whose marriage (and very life) matters to God.
  • You are someone satan is lying to, hoping you will reject truth and accept his lies.
  • You are someone who will never do everything correctly all the time, but God will never give up on you.
  • You are someone who has been given mercy, and therefore is required to give it to everyone around you.
  • You are someone Jesus loves enough to die for. 
  •  You are someone who matters to God. 
I wish my words could change your attitude.  I wish my words could change your heart.  I wish my words could change your life.  They cannot. 

But if they cause you to speak words to your Father in heaven, HIS POWER can change everything about your life.  Today? In three seconds?  No. But if you keep calling out to Him... keep seeking for Him... one day, you will look at your life and say, "Wow. God healed me."  How do I know this? HE did it for me.

I love you,
Mrs. Older.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. " ROMANS 15:5-7

Sunday, August 31, 2014

MARRIAGE IS LIKE A FOOTBALL GAME.

Football season has arrived once again.  Every level of humanity in America is affected by football season.  Starting with the NFL, all the way down to twelve year old children in Middle School... football is upon us.

I'm hoping you have a football kind of marriage.  When you watch football, everyone on the team is happy to simply be on the team.  Everyone on the team has one goal - to win.  Everyone on the team knows that the OTHER team has the opposite goal for their team - to lose.  So you have one team trying to score and the other team trying to keep them from scoring. 

Have you EVER seen a football game where the wide receiver - who wasn't able to catch the game winning pass - ran back to the quarterback and scream at him about the poor pass he threw? Or that he threw the pass too early?  Or too late?  Of course not.  No one on a winning football team wastes time pointing out the faults of the other person on the team.  They just get up and keep playing. 

Have you ever seen a winning football team where the quarterback was offended and pouty and wouldn't play because he didn't want to have to listen to his coach?

Have you ever seen a winning football team who forgot that the OTHER TEAM was playing to defeat them and make them go home crying?

No.  NOT A WINNING TEAM.

But in so many marriages, one spouse uses up so much time blaming the other one, not willing to take the blame for their own mistakes and being offended because The Coach in heaven has rules about the way to play the Game of Marriage. (though marriage is no game)

Also.. in so many marriages one or both spouses seem to forget that there is ANOTHER TEAM out there... the opposite of God's team... and their only goal is to be sure your marriage loses.

Marriage is a team sport.  Every person involved has their own job to fulfill to be sure that marriage succeeds. 

There's a difference between being an expert and having experience.  I'm no expert, but God has blessed me with a happy marriage for the past four and half decades.  I know from experience that until and unless you accept that you and your husband are on the SAME TEAM...you will actually be playing for the OTHER TEAM without realizing it.

Ask God to help you see marriage the way HE SEES IT.
And He will.

I love you,
Mrs. Older

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM MARRIAGE?

So you met him. And you married him. And now you can't stand each other?
How did that happen? 
Is that what you expected to happen?
Probably not. I don't think anyone gets married expecting to have a broken heart.

Today I'm not giving answers. Today I am encouraging you to FIND them. In your own heart.   I mean, really, and truly and seriously ask yourself:
What DID you expect out of marriage?
Did you expect him to make you feel happy all the time?
Did you expect him to take away every stress?
Did you expect him to provide an above average lifestyle?
Did you get married just because you didn't want to be the only one of your friends who is NOT married?

And be honest with yourself.  Are your expectations realistic?
Can any other human make you feel happy all the time?
Is that even possible?
We cannot be angry at another human being simply because they don't feel like doing - or don't feel like being - what we EXPECTED them to do or be.
That's just immaturity. 

It's often important to go back to the beginning and ask yourself what you expected from marriage.

And while you're there, it couldn't hurt to go back to the One who BEGAN marriage.  What does HE expect you to expect from marriage?

Do you know? 

More tomorrow.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

LOOKING GOOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND - AGAIN.

BY FAR.... THE MOST POPULAR POST MRS. OLDER HAS EVER POSTED IS THE ONE TITLED "LOOKING GOOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND" which I posted on May 14, 2013.  I don't know WHERE the traffic is coming from, but baby it's coming.
I have posted a link at the bottom if you'd like to read the original post.
But some of the comments were so good.. I have listed them here..  After the comments is a link to read the original blog. LOVE YOU ALL.

COMMENTS:

Mark Williams May 14, 2013 at 8:04 AM
After twenty five years of marriage, and three children, my wife follows this advice. To me she is as beautiful as the day we met. In my role as a pastor and counselor I would say that women often underestimate the power of their appearance. I agree with you, and know that you are a brave woman to have posted this. I await the additional, less friendly comments that will appear. Blessings to you dear woman of God.


Anonymous May 14, 2013 at 8:23 AM
OMG I was making fun of this post as my husband and I were driving to the dentist. And after reading it, expecting him to laugh at you along with me he said 'she isn't entirely wrong'. Which has started a long discussion about how men (not him of course) are visual more than women. This in turn has gotten me thinking that it is possible he is telling me to care about my appearance more than I have been doing. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG.

Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 6:05 AM
I wholeheartedly agree and I thank you IMMENSELY for speaking truth. It DOES matter to our husbands, even if they don't outright say it! I think taking the time to look refreshed and pleasant to our husbands is a way to show them respect, which is a great need for most men. I'm a stay~at~home~mom who did have four children in four years (one set of twins!)and I homeschool full~time. About half an hour before my man gets home, I fix my hair, put on some lip gloss and spray my vanilla spritzer on. He's never commented on this BUT I assure you he would notice if he came home and I hadn't done those things. Excellent post and a great reminder! : )



Elizabeth@Warrior Wives May 16, 2013 at 1:16 PM
Oh, I love this!! I've read many posts on how wives should stay attractive for their husbands and I have heard no end of complaining and griping about how our husbands shouldn't care. And about how our bodies change after babies, etc...I find all that frustrating because you're absolutely right - we should CARE the way we used to, not necessarily LOOK the way we used to. LOOKING the way we used to is just downright impossible sometimes; I'll never erase the scar from c-sections or the sagging skin and stretch marks from 3 pregnancies, but I can still take the same amount of care over my appearance to try to delight my husband. (Who, for the record, says he doesn't even notice all those stretch marks, thinks I'm beautiful and loves that I make an effort to not be frumpy) And for all those people who say they have no time because they have kids...no, you have time. If you have time for Facebook, you have time to change out of sweatpants or put makeup on. If something is important to you, you will make time.



Anonymous September 19, 2013 at 5:54 PM
ok I agree but you failed to mention anything about how he should treat you the way he did when you first met and make an effort and help around the house like he use to or make time just for the 2 of you like he did in the beginning. Date nights are still important after 20 years. Knowing that your hubby wants to spend time with just you like he did in the beginning is important. I'm so sick of do for the man do for the man...it is a 2 way street people! you both have to do for each other no matter how long you've been together!


Gaye @calmHealthySexy May 16, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Very good advice. We may not want this to be true, but I think it is true. The idea of keeping the focus on caring as much rather than looking the same is brilliant.


Jim B.  May 16, 2013 at 5:54 PM
I don't know exactly why I, as a husband, find this blog so interesting, as I'm not its intended audience, but it's great. Let me offer a bit of advice to the fellas who may be seeing this: YOUR appearance matters to your wife, too, even if they're not quite as "visual creature" as men are. This is good advice for the men too.


rockhisworld May 17, 2013 at 1:49 PM
I have to agree. I enjoy seeing her much more when her hair is fixed and she is wearing something nice. It honestly makes me want to spend more time with her. Am I shallow? Maybe. I love her either way, but enjoy her looking nicer more. Just like, there are some meals I like better than others.

I understand that my wife cannot look her best every day, but I also don't enjoy it when she spends days in those stupid gray sweats that she loves. I have threatened to burn them and replace them with something in a better color. :)

I also know that I should do my best to look good for her. I try to do it, whether she is in her gray sweats or the nice sweats I did buy her.


Anonymous May 21, 2013 at 7:09 AM
Thank you for being brave enough to post this! It is far to easy for us as wives/moms to take our husbands for granted in this way. I see it as a way of respecting my man and showing some self-respect, too. We don't need to vacuum in a starched dress, heels, and pearls, but showering, wearing something other than sweats, and not looking sloppy are reasonable expectations. When I make the effort to look put together for him (and my kids; they don't want to be embarrassed by my appearance, either!), I feel better about myself.


KM Logan May 30, 2013 at 3:59 PM
THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE I have read on this subject! I have read so many posts that take the tone, if you don't wear makeup or take time to do your hair then you're a bad woman. I've read so many blog posts because I physically can't wear makeup,I've been dealing with facial cysts that make my chin swell up to the size of a softball, my hair went through some trauma and started falling out, and I had 3 babies in 3 years! I can't look the way I used to look, but I do care. Thank you! This is what so many posts I read are lacking. They make me feel inadequate simply because I'm stuck in my skin. I do care about my appearance even if it is worse than I'd like it to be.

Stephage August 14, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Okay this is great! And you're awesome!
I don't want to come off as conceded or anything when I say I am a very attractive woman, I don't need to wear makeup to look amazing and after three kids I think my body is even better, but what good is that? It makes me lazy, sometimes cleaning the house and cooking and looking after the kids I don't even change out of my pjs heaven forbid brush my hair, my poor husband tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world regards if I even brush my teeth!
So after reading this I changed Mu clothes, put some light make up on brushed my hair and put some nice perfume on so when My man comes home today to a clean house happy children and warm meal he will also come home to a woman who said " hey you're still worth getting dressed up for "
Thanks!

Mindy Pribe September 13, 2013 at 12:32 PM
My soon to be hubby and I were just talking about this. I googled "How to look good for my husband" and this blog popped up. I clicked on it and started reading. It has everything he was trying to explain to me. PLUS you included God!! We are Christians and it was so awesome to read a godly post. Kinda like God wanted me to read this. Thanks!!




HERE'S THE LINK TO THE ORIGINAL BLOG POST:


LOOKING GOOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Sunday, August 10, 2014

IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO CURSE THE DARKNESS

It's been said that it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. (The quote is attributed to various sources).
 
My "candle" has become to URGE the older women in church to love and guide and nurture the younger ones. 

It's SO MUCH EASIER TO CURSE THE DARKNESS. To sit back and do our lives... to play with out grandkids.. and go on vacation.. fix up our homes..and... we look around and sadly shake our heads and ...bemoan and mourn about how SAD IT IS WHAT SATAN IS DOING TO FAMILIES...but we never take a look in our 10X mirrors and grasp that WE ARE GOD'S ANSWER to what satan is doing to families.  Does God have a plan to save the younger generation? YUP.  Look in the mirror.  You're the plan.

Trust me.. Mrs. Older is NOT a cranky old lady... I write HUMOR columns.  I am a happy little trooper of a woman. BUT THIS CANDLE IS BURNING SO HOTLY WITHIN ME.  BURNING DEEPLY.   This little blog is just one way I am lighting candles... PLEASE CARE FOR THE YOUNGER WOMEN AROUND YOU. Be there.  Care. Love. Teach. Nurture.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RETIREMENT IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  You may not be a Bible teacher, but you know LOTS OF THINGS that younger women would WELCOME. 

A blog or two ago, I asked younger women to write and tell me their side of the story.  This woman commented.  I am INCLUDING her comments here...

Thank you sweet woman for posting them.


"I think there are a few things that play into this dynamic. Women from 20-40 have been raised in a feminist society that double-dog dares us to admit we can't do or know it all by ourselves. This is terribly unbiblical, but most of us don't even know that. We were largely raised in homes where God was only mentioned occasionally if at all. We may have been taken to Sunday school and VBS, but we weren't taught at home because our parents were both working to provide us with a "better life." Because we are following in their footsteps, we are much more influenced by societal norms than biblical truth. 

We desperately need help from women who've been there and done that, but we believe that to acknowledge that need is weakness. For those of us who do know our Bibles and value its truth and our Savior more than what society would have us believe, pickin's are slim. It's rare to find a woman our mothers' ages who is spiritually mature enough to help us.

In my case, I have several wonderful, older, godly, bible-brained women whom I can ask for help. I feel VERY blessed in this. Of course, these relationships happened because I did actually ask for help. I remember the first older women to offer me help without my asking. She was persistent even though I gave her the, "I've got it covered," attitude (I was 23 and quite arrogant back then). She became one of the most precious people to ever love me. We developed a beautiful relationship, though I never made it easy for her. She was willing to face my rejection of her offer of experience in order to love me. Sounds like Jesus, doesn't it?  

Older women, please don't take our arrogance and falseness personally. Do what God calls you to do even if we aren't mature enough to appreciate it. It WILL make a difference."

Saturday, August 9, 2014

FIVE THINGS I WOULD TELL YOUNGER WIVES IF I WERE BRAVE ENOUGH.

1. YOUR HUSBAND IS JUST A MAN.
Many younger wives expect the guy to be Jesus in a suit, providing an excellent lifestyle, and putting her needs so far ahead of his own that he can't even figure out what his needs actually are anymore.  And God help him if he even tries.  He was not created to heal your childhood abuse, your disappointments in life, and your inner need for inner peace. Only Jesus can do that. Don't crucify your husband for not being Jesus.  Jesus was already crucified in your husband's place. 

2. YOUR CHILDREN ARE RUNNING YOUR LIFE. 
Yes. They. Are.  As someone who has been in leadership roles in church, and as a pastor's wife for many years.. I know from experience that you can tell a woman any thing on earth - EXCEPT- something about her kids.  Or how they have been given WAY TOO MUCH POWER.  In my real life, I deal mostly with evangelical women who go to church regularly.  One thing I see TOO OFTEN is wives who are SO FOCUSED on the children that dad becomes Mommy #2 instead of Daddy #1.   

You need the Holy Spirit to give you the wisdom to know when you are to place more importance on being Someone's Wife than on being Someone's Mom.  I'm not telling you to ignore or abuse your kids.  I'm just telling you that.. they will NOT DIE.. if a couple of nights a week they don't get to do everything they want to do ... or heaven help us all.  I'm just saying that too many women are using the children as a way to control their husbands.  I'm saying that I deal with too many women whose husbands are TERRIFIED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT BEING TREATED AS A NANNY instead of a HUSBAND. 

For the love of God and your marriage, do something as a couple now and then.  Send the kids to Grandma's house.  Go out on a date.   Listen to your husband's heart again.  Do you know what he is dealing with? At his job?  In his heart?  Do you take the time to hear your husband speak? Do you tell the children to be silent when Daddy is talking? 
IF YOUR SCHEDULE IS SO BUSY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO THE MAN GOD GAVE YOU.. THEN... CUT SOME THINGS OUT OF YOUR SCHEDULE, WOMAN!

Do you show the children that Daddy had a life before they did?  Who runs the house?  Your children need to SEE you honoring their daddy as the head of the home, and not view him as just someone else WHO IS AFRAID TO STAND UP TO MOMMY.   Sure, he needs to help, but he isn't your kid. Stop barking orders at the poor man. 

3. YOU ARE NEGLECTING YOUR APPEARANCE
God looks at the heart, this is true. And you have a beautiful heart, I'm sure.  However, man (as in...YOUR HUSBAND...) looks at the outer appearance.  Yes.  He does.  I don't know why men are created that way, but God knows why.  I'm not going to argue with the Almighty Creator of Humanity.

Now before you post comments about the four kids, and losing weight, and not having time, etc.... I know and I feel your frustration.  I'm not saying LOOK the way you LOOKED, I'm saying CARE about your appearance the way you CARED.  (I wrote about this in this blog's MOST POPULAR entry.. "LOOKING GOOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND. You can click on that post.. over on the right hand column)   It's true, there are seasons in life - having a newborn, or being ill - where your appearance should be the LAST THING that matters to your husband.  But if you are not in one of those seasons.. trust me.. sweet woman... YOUR HUSBAND NOTICES THE WAY YOU LOOK.   Fix yourself up.  Throw those sweat pants away.  OK?

4. YOU ARE NOT EMBRACING SUBMISSION.

Society has a way of taking a very valuable aspect of God and His Word and twisting the word so that it seems like a cruel and unreasonable concept.  And so it is with the word "SUBMIT"... and what it really means.

First of all... when we run from that word we are -in essence -  accusing God - who is JUST - of being unfair and unloving. Yes.. I know I know.. you and I WOULD NEVER accuse or doubt God... and yet.... so many of we evangelical wives have secretly changed our opinion of submission to mean what society says it means.  SUBMIT?  No way.

So let me ask you something:  Do you accuse the traffic authority of being UNFAIR when you choose to submit to a red traffic light?   You and I stop when the light is red because we know that the traffic authority's MOTIVE is to keep us safe, to keep traffic flowing smoothly and fairly.  We don't yell and complain, "What right do you have to INSIST I stop at a red traffic light?"  We don't accuse the traffic authority of demeaning our personhood or of being misogynist monsters..
NO..  We SUBMIT to that authority - and willingly stop at the RED traffic light.  NOW.. if you want to get real and honest.. truth is... you can GO THROUGH a red traffic light if you are willing to suffer the consequences.  You may get a traffic ticket. Or you may get sideswiped by oncoming traffic and suffer grave and serious injury. So you stop at a red light. You SUBMIT. 

At work, you are probably not THE CEO of the company..(AND IF YOU ARE.. YOU STILL HAVE STOCKHOLDERS TO ANSWER TO) 

so you submit to the role that you have been asked to fill.  Why? Because you are helping the CEO and the STOCKHOLDERS to reach a goal.  You are your company's HELP MEET.  You don't go to protest rally's which say that your CEO is trying to enslave you.. do you?  You don't expect the CEO to do YOUR JOB do you?   Of course not.  You understand that a company filled with nothing but bosses cannot succeed. 

And so all throughout society... we understand that in many different institutions.. someone has the responsibility to lead.. and someone has the responsibility to follow that lead... FOR THE GOOD OF ALL INVOLVED.

That's all that submission is.  Submission has to be VOLUNTARY or it isn't submission.  It isn't being a slave. It's simply accepting that in order for MARRIAGE to succeed... someone has to have the PRIMARY responsibility.. and God has placed that responsibility on husbands.  Why?  I don't know why! Ask God.

If you don't want to have to submit to your husband..... ask yourself "why?"
I suspect it's not because you don't trust HIS LEADERSHIP..
I suspect that the root of it is that YOU DON'T TRUST GOD'S LEADERSHIP.
The more I trust God to be faithful and fair, the easier it is for me to submit to others.. not only my husband but to every authority God has allowed to be in power. 

Submit to GOD in all things. 
And let HIM worry about whether or not someone is being fair.. 
Which brings me to #5


5. PUT TRUST IN THE FAITHFULNESS AND FAIRNESS OF GOD.
On the other hand, sometimes husbands are simply not doing even the most basic things a husband should do - loving, protecting, nurturing and caring for his wife.  THIS is true. Some husbands are total failures... no matter how hard you try to find something to respect.  

SOOOOooooooooo......  I just want to let you know that God sees.  I'm not telling you that you should just buck up and bear it.  I'm telling you that ONLY GOD can be your defender, your provider, your heart mender.  If your husband is a loser... God is not.  If your husband doesn't love you... God does.   TRUST GOD WITH EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR BROKEN HEART.
And..
I'm telling you that EVEN IF YOUR husband is CLOSE TO PERFECT, He can never be what Jesus is.  He can never heal your heart. Your spirit. He can never bind up your broken hearted-ness . He can never set your captive spirit free.  ONLY JESUS can do that. ONLY JESUS. 

If you would actually TRUST that truth... if you would actually UNDERSTAND that in the end.. ONLY JESUS has the power to change what needs to be changed... 
YOU WOULD RUN TO HIM and HE WILL GIVE YOU REST.

OK.. 
Well.. this is long enough for today.  I guess these are five things I would say to younger wives if I was brave enough.
WOW.  I guess I AM brave enough.

Also...Mrs. Older is so happy that so many of you are signing up to receive this via email. Once again, let me say that no one gets your email from this blog, and you won't get anything BUT THIS BLOG.  I'm not selling anything here. Just GIVING you JESUS.
I love you.
Mrs. Older.

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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

MRS. OLDER HAS A FAVOR TO ASK

In my "real" life as a writer, I write a monthly column in a magazine with a pretty healthy circulation among people who attend church regularly.  Last month, I wrote a funny story about how I am a creature of habit, and how God is showing me - EVEN AT MY AGE - that HE HAS NEW PLANS FOR MY LIFE...  

This morning I received a wonderful email from a woman who is 77 years old, a widow, and who took the time to write and tell me she enjoyed my column.   Although I don't know her, I could sense from her email that she is a wonderful and loving woman who is "asking God what He wants to do with my life."

I took the opportunity to share my heart with her - to share MY mission with her - to tell her what God has been impressing on my heart VERY STRONGLY for the past four years:

DO WHAT THE NEW TESTAMENT TELLS THE OLDER WOMEN TO DO. 

 "Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)

And so, for all the Mrs. Younger's out there who read this on a regular basis, I have to tell you something:  Sometimes you scare the older women out there.  You scare us.. sometimes.  Honest.

We grew up in a different society.  We grew up in a different CHURCH society. And...

Sometimes it seems like you don't need or want anyone's advice..
You have so much information at your fingertips.. and so.. we Mrs. Olders just kind of shrink back and don't offer you our lives... don't try to teach anything... and THAT ISN'T GOD'S PLAN.

SO WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?  Will you leave your comments below about whether or not you HAVE an older Godly woman who mentors you?  Will you tell us what that means to you?  Will you tell us if and how she has loved and helped you? Will you explain what it's like to be twenty-something, or thirty-something and trying to raise a family and succeed at marriage WITHOUT anyone's advice?  

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR NAME. YOU CAN POST ANONYMOUSLY.

WILL YOU TELL THE OTHER MRS. OLDER's out there that God DOES have a use for them in the lives of younger women?

Thank you so very, very much.
BTW.... if you enjoy reading this.. please encourage your friends to sign up to receive this via email.  Upper right corner of the page.  Thanks.

XO,
Mrs. Older

(Click on the "comments" tab below to see what other women may have posted.)

Sunday, August 3, 2014

GOSSIP GIRLS AND GOD

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret."  Proverbs 11:13

As older women, I think one of the examples we need to set for the younger women who follow us is to STOP GOSSIPING about one another!  There's something about all of us that just LIKES TO KNOW STUFF.. right??? RIGHT. But we have to ask the Holy Spirit to give us the strength to keep a confidence confidential.  We need one another.  WE need to pray with and for one another.  But one of the things so many younger women tell me when they send me emails is that they can't really find someone they can trust to keep their problem confidential. 

A while back I asked a friend to help me pray about a situation in my family.  It was a serious glitch in the road for someone and I knew that prayer was the only answer.  I didn't want to embarrass the family member, but I needed prayer support.  She said she would pray.  So imagine my surprise when I spoke to a friend 900 miles away who had heard about my prayer request and asked me about that family member's situation. How did he hear?  Through the church secretary of his church -  who is close friends with the close friend I asked to help me pray.   I have forgiven my gossipy friend.  She has so many wonderful qualities and I want to keep her as my friend.  Sadly, though, I don't share the deep deep needs of my heart with her anymore.  Not unless it doesn't matter if 45 people who live 900 miles away also know about it.

I love to hear stories.  I love to hear gossip.  I do.  We all do.  That's why it's so difficult to see satan's hand in it.  It's such fun - in our flesh- to hear that others are not doing as well as they pretend.  Or that others have problems too.  It might be FUN.. but it isn't LOVE.

If we all just keep gossiping then none of us will feel safe to ask for prayer.  And if we don't pray, then we don't get answers.  And if we don't pray, then God's word that His House shall be called a "house of prayer" gets thwarted. And we rarely see that the thing we think nothing of - GOSSIP - is the VERY THING that is killing our testimony for Christ.

Dear older women, there are many younger wives out there LONGING to share the DEEP DARK burdens of their lives with you.  Be someone they can feel safe with.  I have learned, over the years, that talking about people who talk to me is a great great destructive tool of the enemy.

Dear younger wives... being young doesn't mean you aren't old enough to know that gossiping is wrong.

This isn't deep theological truth here.
It's BASIC CHRISTIANITY.

People need people they can trust.  Especially.. in the Body of Christ.
A person who can be trusted is getting rarer and rarer.

XO,
Mrs. Older