Friday, June 13, 2014

MR. HORRIBLE HUSBAND

I gotta be honest with you.  Some wives are married to some horrible men.  Really.  They are.  I'm not talking about the guy who beats his wife, or spends their grocery money on some addiction he has.   When a woman is married to a man who is doing obviously WRONG stuff like having an affair, or being addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography or gambling or isn't providing the basic necessities for the family.........well then that wife - and everyone around her - KNOWS that he is MR. HORRIBLE HUSBAND.    But what about the guy who ISN'T doing that stuff?  What about Mr. Horrible Husband who looks like a good guy to the outside world?  

  • What about the guy who goes to work, provides what the family needs... but...simply doesn't care about caring for his wife? Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally.
  • Or the husband who does not care if his wife feels loved? or understood or protected?
  • What about the husband, who, behind closed doors says the most destructive and belittling and HATEFUL comments to the woman God is expecting him to LOVE? 
  • What about the guy who never protects her from anyone who says degrading things about her?  
  • What about the lazy husband who expects his wife and family to live with less so that he doesn't have to do more?
  •  What about the husband who talks negatively about his wife to other people - his co-workers, church family, his family? 
  •  Or the man who wants his wife to "submit" but chooses to ignore God's commandments about loving his wife the way Christ loved The Church?

Are these guys Mr. Horrible Husband?  Well, I guess it depends on whether or not you are married to him.

Some of these guys are really nice guys.  Those of us who know them - those of us who aren't married to them - really like them.

They aren't EVIL.  They are SELFISH.   And I guess,

in the long run, selfishness is the greatest form of evil.

These nice guys... should have stayed single.  Because...WHEN A MAN DECIDES TO TAKE A WIFE.. GOD IS EXPECTING HIM TO LOVE THAT WOMAN.  The way God defines love.  A man cannot be married and expect to live like a single person.  This is more than ridiculous. It's INSANE.

There's a whole lot of husbands going around living life confused about why God is NEVER answering his prayers.. and they NEVER grasp -or they are hardly ever told -  the simple and holy TRUTH......

"THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE... IS HINDERING YOUR PRAYERS."
 (1 Peter 3:7)


DOES GOD VALUE THE HUSBAND/WIFE RELATIONSHIP THAT MUCH?
Yup.

Dear wife.. If anyone understands the pain of being insulted by someone you are willing to lay down your life for.......Jesus does.

1 Peter 2:23 tells us:

"He did not retaliate when he was insulted nor threaten revenge when he suffered.  He left his case in the hands of God who always judges fairly."

You know, it hit me when I read that verse one day, that it

DOES NOT SAY that Jesus WAS NOT INSULTED.

I think sometimes, we forget that He was human.  I think we think He didn't feel the words cutting at his heart.  Here he was, willing to die for the people who were INSULTING HIM. And... the verse says, "he was insulted." 

It says He did not RETALIATE when He was insulted.  That's the key. 

When I am insulted... trust me... Mrs. Older can fling back a cutting insult faster than a speeding bullet.
I have learned to ask God to make me more like Jesus.. even in this area of my life.
Jesus didn't threaten revenge when these people caused Him to suffer.
Why?
Jesus knew His Father was watching the whole scene play out.  He knew God would judge fairly. 

That's the FAITH I need. That's the FAITH you need. To believe that God is going to set things right. God is going to protect you... even if your husband does not.  How is He going to do it?  I don't know.  When is He going to do it?  I don't know. But I know one thing - He loves every imperfect wife.. and He loves every Horrible Husband.  He sent His Son to make imperfect people....PERFECT in the sight of God.

Go to God about your husband.  Ask Him to speak to him. And.........
While you are asking God to speak to your husband let Him know that you are open to Him speaking to you as well.

God is fair.
God is love.
God is merciful.
Even to Mr. Horrible Husband.
Even to Mrs. Not-So-Perfect Wife.

XO,
Mrs. Older

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